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Turning Ten
“How does it feel to be ten?” I asked.
“I’m not nine yet,” he told me. “I was born at night, so I’m still nine until tonight.”
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )A Vote of Confidence
I ended up inflating the balloon to Daniel’s specifications. It ended up a little bit larger than I would have made it myself, but I thought it was manageable. I was wrestling with the end and trying to knot it up when I noticed Daniel was standing with his eyes closed and his hands across his ears.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )Traveling to Tomorrow
“But it was Saturday when we went to Chicago,” said Daniel, yawning. I nodded. “And now it’s Sunday. It’s tomorrow.”
“Saturday and Sunday are the names of actual days,” I explained. “Today and tomorrow are descriptions.”
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )Diet Loophole
The price of refills was going up from 59 cents to 79 cents. That didn’t sound like much on a Pepsi by Pepsi basis, but it was an increase of almost 34 percent.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Losing by the Rules
“How do you have five points?” I asked. “I thought each basket was worth just one point.” Daniel explained the shots he took while demonstrating counted because “they were educational”. I didn’t remember that rule at the outset, but let it slide.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 4 so far )Skipping a Week on Weight Watchers
The reality is it’s easy to get lazy and it’s easy to cheat. The weather in Belvidere averages “rotten” with occasional lows in the “crappy” and “downright nasty” range. It’s very easy to look out the window and come up with an excuse not to take a long walk in the park.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )Flunking the Turing Test
The TRS-80 version of ELIZA struggled to make conversation from whatever words could fit into 4,000 bytes of memory. It was like having a conversation with a Magic 8-Ball.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Saving the Fourth
You can imagine my surprise when – come 2:00 in the morning – I had no thunderous blasts rattling the window, no debris raining down on the roof. In fact, I didn’t hear anything: no hooting, no whoo-ing, no profanity. Even the hair band music that thumps off the siding of the houses in the cul-de-sac behind us was silenced.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )Waiting Found Wanting
Out of the eleven people in line with me, seven of them were men. Yet we had no representation on the magazine rack. Maxim would be nice, but I understand it’s a “family store”.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 4 so far )Past Sins Revisited
David loved to argue. He was passionate if not always correct. I learned a lot from arguing with my brother (mostly that it was pointless to do so).
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )How to Annoy Your Child
Daniel’s nose is crinkling now. I wait for the stoplight by the bank to turn green for my lane, so I can head down the main street of Belvidere… ironically not called Main Street (that’s two blocks over).
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )Spending the Night
I don’t know why they call them “sleepovers”; sleep is the last thing on anyone’s mind. I had many sleepovers when I was a kid. Meka had a few herself. Despite this, we agreed his friend could spend the night.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Tinth Anniversary
She passed on the canned fruit cocktail I had poured out. It was in heavy syrup (and when they say heavy, they mean heavy; it was essentially fruit flavored gravy). I guess she didn’t care much for the guava nectar either. It was imported from Mexico and the only kind of juice I could find in an actual tin can. Most beverages are in aluminum cans these days
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )Chalk One Up to Experience
Jack Benny created one of the first “sitcom families”. It consisted of Jack and the regular cast along with a number of frequent minor characters, including a put-upon sales clerk that seemed to work at every store Benny visited.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )Braking Away
After forty-four ounces of pop and a few minutes rest, I was ready to head home. Daniel took the lead again and led me down a “short cut” he remembered from his travels. I should have known better…
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Ozymandiasville, Illinois
Daniel showed me cracks in the wood. There was a chip missing where the baby slide used to be attached. Water will get in and that means “freeze cycles”. This is a favorite mode of destruction from the show.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Signs of the Times
I took a look at the project specs on-line. The plan is to resurface much of Route 20 all the way to the Iowa state line. Our little resurfacing project here in Boone County is a little less than six miles long and is expected to cost a bit over three million dollars.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )A Jaded Look at Television
When Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed the Eagle on the moon, almost a billion people on Earth tuned in to watch this latest miracle of technology courtesy of another miracle of technology. It is our fate to become jaded by wonder.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )In Search of the Millionth Word
I thought the millionth English word might be something obvious that had been overlooked up to that point. “Word” was listed. “English” was in there as well. “Millionth” was – technically – out of the running.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )Daniel and the Awesome Ads
He was poring over an ad for a big box hardware chain. We don’t have a deck. Unless they were marked down about 100% for the sale, it was unlikely we would be getting one.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Movies Under the Stars
Daniel and I drove down to the Cascade, one of a dozen remaining drive-in theatres in Illinois. They don’t charge by the car anymore, it’s individual admission now. On the plus side, you can bring in your own food.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 4 so far )Brought to You by Mike and Ike
“Of course, if someone is mean to me – you know – writes nasty things about me…” I paused for dramatic effect.
“You didn’t really buy any Mike and Ike,” he said.
I placed a light green bag of Mike and Ike on the kitchen table between us.
M-M-McBop
Who were the ad wizards who picked Sean Kingston’s Beautiful Girls? I tried to imagine a bunch of kids singing “su-i-ci-dal, su-i-ci-dal” without generating some vast parental s%^&storm in the process.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 3 so far )Baby Stuff
One of us would carry Daniel – complete in the rocking chair / car seat – and one of us would carry the stuff. Daniel’s diaper bag was the size of a small cooler.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Thoughts on the Passing of Millvina Dean
I’ve always felt like a single thread intertwined in the middle of a patchwork quilt that makes up our history. As I asked my mom and dad about the past, Daniel asks me now about watching the Bears win a Super Bowl, remembering when President Nixon resigned, seeing Scooby Doo on television when it was brand new.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Review – I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream…
If you have ever wrestled with a box of ice cream, trying to pry out a chunk with a cold metal scooper, you would have been impressed too. It reminded me of watching the guys flip pizza dough at Italian restaurants when I was a kid.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Pikachu! Gesundheit
Each Pokemon has a name. If you don’t catch what the name is, the little monster will helpfully tell you all the time. That’s how they communicate. Dogs bark, cats meow, Pokemon say their name.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )Lights, Camera, Action
The floor on the sides of the auditorium slants upwards towards the “cheap seats”. One side had a flat platform, but I assumed that Daniel would be on the other side (Murphy’s Law). I set up on the slant, but I had a bubble level attached to the tripod to make sure the camera was on an even keel.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )The Nintendo 500
We only have one steering wheel controller for the Wii and when we play together, I don’t get that one. I find my real world experience as a driver actually hinders my playing ability. Steering with a horizontal wand doesn’t feel natural.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )Decoration Day
People stopping by David’s site tend to bring things that remind them of him: old cell phones, little dog statuettes, cigarettes and roses. I know that everything in there is sentimental to someone, but most of it just isn’t built to last.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )A Fish Story
My first cast went about three feet, but my next one hit the river. Daniel did better; he hit the deep water on his first try. And when we left after an hour or so, our little Styrofoam cooler had his sole catch on ice.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Like Son, Like Father
Daniel continued to slurp noisily, capturing the last few shake molecules at the bottom of the cup. He craned his neck to peer at my half-finished page. He frowned. “I can’t read your handwriting,” he said. “It’s too messy.”
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Senior Moment at the Age of Nine
Daniel was half eating / half wearing a caramel sundae. We were seated at one of the tall tables in the front of the restaurant. “I think I’m losing my mind,” said Daniel. I had to ask.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )On the Subject of Telephones
There were a myriad of ways I could have answered the question. I might have answered with just a simple “no”. I might have said I used to text quite a lot, except back then we called it “sending a postcard”. I split the difference and explained that – no – I didn’t text when I was young. The technology hadn’t been invented yet.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )The Restaurant Next Door II
It was one of those old school steakhouses done up in Early American Dungeon. Everything was brick and wrought iron with thick wooden beams stained dark like walnut. Each booth came equipped with a small lamp with a bulb about the size of the one in a refrigerator.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )Slow and Steady Cheats to Win
There’s a paved path about a mile around the soccer fields and baseball diamonds. Normally, I walk out there as part of my Weight Watchers goal and general Beatles-like desire to be “half the man I used to be”.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Breaking and Entering
I made a circuit around the house with Daniel sheepishly trailing me. The screen door was locked. The sliding glass door was unlocked, but a thick piece of dowel rod was sitting in the door rail. Considering how cheaply made our house seems, the windows turned out to be surprisingly secure.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 6 so far )Asking for It by Name
“Can we get Fruit Loops?” he asked.
“We are getting Fruit Loops,” I replied. Daniel shook his head.
“No, I mean real Fruit Loops.” Now it was my turn to sigh.
The Airport Hustle
I really like the moving sidewalk setup in the Louisville airport. The signs tell people who are standing still to stay on the right side. This allows people who are walking to pass them on the left side. However, I got behind a guy who was – technically – walking, but moving so slowly that people walking (walking, mind you) on the non-moving floors on either side were passing us by.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Daniel’s Compensation Package
With a clearing of the throat and a sneeze of blue smoke, it roared into life on the first hard yank of the pull cord. I mowed around the edges of the yard and did the precision mowing around the bushes and trees. Daniel did a lot of the straight back-and-forth cutting. For the first time, I think Daniel did at least half of the lawn. I thought about offering him a job.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )All this and Swine Flu
I was working from home and my cell phone started to ring. At the same moment, I could hear the home phone ringing and Meka’s cell phone in her office. I looked at the caller ID and they were all the same phone number. I picked up my cell before it went to voice mail with the assumption the world was ending.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Miscellaneous Anonymous Fish
the fish hide so much, I think Meka just feeds them on faith; assuming they’re still in there… somewhere. Almost every guest we’ve had to the house has asked if we plan to get fish for the tank.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )Spider Hunting
Last year we had a couple of garden spiders that were as colorful as Pepper, our rental parrot. I left them alone out there to spin their webs, catch their bugs and crawl around wherever they pleased. In the fall, if I found them in the house, they were dead.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )On the Subject of Poetry
I wrote that line and had some ideas I wanted to convey. But it was still too early. The emotion I felt was too deep. It came from somewhere in my reptilian brain and defied any attempt to put it into language, short of a cross between a low growl and a plaintive howl to the sky.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )There’s a Right Way…
To my surprise, the Internet showed my account was all paid up and it rejected my manual payment because it was too much money. I made one last phone call, asking – nay, begging them to please take my f$%^ing money.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )Doctor Cars
“I think they used them to drive doctors around.” That might have been true. I grew up in the seventies and eighties. House calls were something from late night movies on television.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 4 so far )Talking Trash
Newspaper should be recycled, not thrown away.” I pointed out the recyclers only took newspaper that wasn’t covered in parrot poop. Daniel made a face and I was relieved to see it didn’t freeze in place. He heaved a sigh and headed up the stairs again, struggling mightily against the gravitational pull of the earth.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 3 so far )On the Record
I was walking down past the media towards the front of the store when something caught my eye one aisle over. The entire row was plastered with stacks of large flat squares. I found myself wandering over and picking one of them up to make sure I was really seeing what I was seeing: a 12 inch vinyl record album at Best Buy in the year 2009.
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