Problem / Solution

Finally, I started getting an actual error: Invalid Subscript Reference. That wasn’t too helpful. The official definition of the error was a subscript reference was not found.

A Jaded Look at Television

When Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed the Eagle on the moon, almost a billion people on Earth tuned in to watch this latest miracle of technology courtesy of another miracle of technology. It is our fate to become jaded by wonder.

Making a Computer Sing

Orchestra-80 had four “voices” that could play notes simultaneously. This allowed us to not only play the tune, but the chords as well. However, more abilities meant more work for us. Notes were converted to numbers based on how close they were to Middle C (which was zero), whether they were sharp (+) or flat (-), and how long the note should be played (quarter notes were 4’s).

New Use for Old Computer

t was a monster, running a 486 processor at 33 megahertz. This was at a time when 386 machines were considered “servers”. It was fast; so fast most DOS games available at the time were unplayable. It was taller than our mini fridge and housed a dozen full-sized bays in its solid steel innards.

Tricks of the Trade

I was onsite at a client not too long ago. We were in the middle of an install to a new server and had to load up an application from a CD. No problem, I was told by the IT tech I was working with. He was going to stick the CD into the drive on his machine and share it with the server. We wouldn’t have to leave his cubicle. He set up the share and connected remotely to the server. To his surprise, he couldn’t see the CD or his drive. He tried it again. Nothing.

My Soft Spot for Hardware

My house can be compared to a computer graveyard. I kept my first PC – a 486 SX – less for nostalgia and more for money. It cost me $2,500 back in the day. All of my other computers put together didn’t cost me that much. I can’t just let it go.

A Fond Farewell to Analog TV

The NBC and CBS affiliates were no longer on the air at all as far as analog broadcasting was concerned. However, the ABC station was still broadcasting. In between the snow and the static, I managed to make out a public service announcement about the digital switchover. The color kept flickering in and out, making it kind of hard to watch. I wasn’t getting enough of a signal for the closed captions to read more than a few garbled words here and there.

It Came from the Want Ads!

I used to work for an alien. He didn’t come right out and say he was an alien. He never pulled his face off or tried to eat me or anything like that. But I had my suspicions from the beginning…

Catch 22.0

According to Microsoft support, my problem was caused by Windows (helpfully it mentioned Windows was created by the Microsoft Corporation). There was no solution for the problem, but it mentioned I might be missing some updates that could help improve my stability.

Windows updates come out all the time, so it was altogether possible I was missing one or seven.

Magick vs Reality

They had a show on not long ago, about some mysterious ancient civilization. I forget the exact claims, but it was something to do with how they had all this magical, mystical power and they could predict the future and duplicate all our technology. I think they could even save me 50% on my car insurance, but that might have been the commercial break.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Cemetery

This is definitely the “Information Age”; even the dead are stored in a database. They have a kiosk set up that you can type in a name and it will tell you (in a sonorous automated voice that is – of course – sorry for your loss) where the person is buried: what cemetery, what row, what lot.

I’m not sure why you’d need to know which cemetery they were buried in. I would think most people would know at least that much.

New Cell Phone

I find myself walking around with the phone and a charger, so I can plug it in a wall socket anywhere I go; kind of defeats the purpose of a cell phone in my opinion.