Kids Choice Awards

I’m not usually that interested in awards shows.  I’m interested in who wins the Oscar for Best Supporting Whatever, but actually watching the process of that… well, it’s like watching paint dry.  Daniel – on the other hand – was very excited to watch the Kids Choice Awards on Nickelodeon.  I missed the first part of it (a rare Saturday afternoon nap), but sat down with him to watch the last part.  I was surprised how much I enjoyed it.

I came down in the middle of things.  They were busy deciding who the best musician was for the year.  Daniel explained to me that the Beatles were not in contention.

“But maybe next year they can be better,” he said, varnishing the truth as best as he could to let me down easy.  I don’t remember who won, but I know it wasn’t Justin Timberlake.  Too bad; he was the only one I had heard of.

I paid a bit more attention to some of the other action.  Cameron Diaz was honored with a retrospective full of clips of sex and violence.  Laila Ali – Muhammad’s seriously fit daughter – was outside the theater helping supermodel Heidi Klum pop balloons of slime with silver stingers attached to her butt.  I had a feeling kids might not be the only ones making the choices here… but I digress.

Daniel thought he would have to explain to me about the slime, but Nickelodeon and I go way back.  I used to watch You Can’t Do That on Television back when we first got cable.  Still, it was nice to have a resident expert assisting me in viewing the show.  And I could share in his joy when Drake and Josh – his favorite “real show” (as opposed to cartoons) – took home top honors.

Maybe I would enjoy some of the other shows better if they followed these examples.  If Roger Ebert invites me to the Oscars next year to let me in on all the dope, I might be able to follow along.  I don’t think I’m alone in saying I’d pay good money to see silver stingers strapped onto the butts of Mariah Carey or Jennifer Lopez at some Grammy Award ceremony.  And I submit to anyone producing one of these things: don’t bother bringing up the music when someone goes long on their speech.  All you need is a bucket of slime.


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