If Life Gives You Golf Courses, Make Par


Winter is always hard on our lawn. Every year we’ve lived in Belvidere, we’ve had to rebuild portions of the lawn so that it looks halfway decent by – say, September. We’ve had an exceptionally snowy winter this year and I hadn’t really seen the true state of the grass until today.

We have some rabbits; that would make sense as our neighbors have dogs and we don’t. I’d seen their tracks all around the house this winter (they were apparently casing the joint). I joked with Daniel that they were from the Easter Bunny. He was a bit unnerved by this. Apparently he had confirmed with Mom the true identity of the Easter Bunny a few weeks ago and now he thought he was being tested by the true Easter Bunny for questioning his faith.

Anyway, one thing that rabbits like to do is screw up yards. I went out in the backyard and lamented the condition of the grass. Half of it looks in need of a good reseeding. The other half doesn’t look like it will be coming back. The small bushes that weren’t protected by three foot drifts or bunny proof fencing have been nibbled down to the ground. On top of that there was this hole right in the middle of the yard where the rabbits had dug a warren.

You’ve probably heard that old chestnut “If life gives you lemons…” (you know the rest; I can’t bring myself to say it). However, it does happen to be true sometimes. Daniel took one look at the rabbit hole and brought out his golf clubs. We ended up shooting about five or six holes in the backyard. I think each hole in our yard is about a par 15 (everything is the rough) and we did pretty well. The biggest problem we had was losing the tees in the tall grass. We eventually switched from natural wood colored ones to a tee painted bright orange. Our course could probably use a “golf pro” who could give us advice like that. Daniel sunk one from about six feet away with his driver (yes, driver) and I managed to make par… most of the time. I had an additional handicap; the clubs were a bit short for me.

We didn’t keep score, but I think Daniel beat me in the end. In any case, I picked up the tab on his green Bug Juice when we retired to the “country club” afterwards.

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