Indiana Jones and the Quest for the Cineplex


As some of you may know (those of you living on the planet Earth at least), a new Indiana Jones movie is out. I forget the exact title; it’s something really long, but that doesn’t matter. IT’S A NEW INDIANA JONES MOVIE!

I wasn’t much older than Daniel when the first Indiana Jones movie came out and I didn’t want to make the same mistake with him as my parents did with me. When Raiders of the Lost Ark first hit the theatres, I wasn’t in line. The movie had been deemed “too scary” for me to see. Months later, when I finally cajoled my parents to see it at the cheap show, I took one look at the so-called scary melting face and thought – candle. It’s just a candle speeded up.

Back to the here and now. I have to admit I want to see the new Indiana Jones movie. However, I’m a parent now and priorities have changed. Before we had Daniel, Meka and I probably went out to the movies once a week. Since Daniel, well, I had to think about it, but I believe the last “grown up” movie we saw in the theatre was Bad Santa about five years ago. It’s hard to justify the expense of a night out. However, we do occasionally go out and see a kids’ movie. I figured if Daniel wanted to see the new movie, then who was I to refuse?

Of course, I had to get the child interested in seeing the movie.

I started my campaign by showing Daniel the trailers for the new Indiana Jones movie on television. He was unimpressed and barely slowed down the commercial skip on our DVR to watch Indy swinging from his whip through a warehouse before moving forward to Sponge Bob. We have the three original movies on DVD down in the basement, so I – subtly – put one on after school let out. I figured Daniel might like to sit down and watch with me, get interested in it, and the next thing you know, we might need to plan a date at the Showplace 16.

Would you believe it? Daniel walked in the door as Marion is being seduced in the desert by Belloq. He was in the process of giving her a new dress when Daniel glanced at the TV, said something about “mushy love” and went upstairs to play in his room. Raiders of the Lost Ark is an action movie! There are exactly 11 seconds of mushy love in the entire movie!

Things began to look up over the weekend. Daniel pointed out the M & M’s campaign at the gas station. The animated M & M’s are dressed up as Indiana Jones. Then, Burger King rolled out their latest Kids Meal toys featuring Indiana Jones. Daniel looked at the plastic models of Indy in various states of distress and thought they were cool. So, I confidently asked Daniel if he’d like to see the new movie. He shook his head.

“No,” he said, “I think it’s too scary for kids.”

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