Gaining Everything in a Flood


I have been on Weight Watchers now for three months and I feel I am finally getting the hang of it.  The pantry has been pretty much emptied of “challenging” foods.  We’ve eaten them all up and made a conscious decision not to replace them when we go shopping.  Instead, we stock the shelves with fruits and vegetables.  We fill the freezer with turkey and soy and little pre-grilled chicken patties that are worth three points a piece.  The cabinets contain whole wheat pasta and our counters are covered with high fiber, low calorie bread.

Even if I craved – say, a can of Spaghettios (approximately 600 calories, not counting the half a bag of Tostitos and three glasses of milk that would invariably accompany it), I look in the pantry and don’t see any.  So, my craving is balanced against my inherent laziness.  If I really want that can of Spaghettios, fine.  But I have to get in the car, burn $2 worth of gas to drive to the store, negotiate all the aisles of Wal Mart that are probably strewn with stock they haven’t put away yet, wait in a long line, walk back to the car, drive home, microwave the Spaghettios… wouldn’t it just be better for everyone if I could settle for that turkey sandwich with a side of fat free chips?

While my home is my castle and keep, I had to negotiate the raging flood waters in Wisconsin a couple of weeks ago to do a training class.  Training classes at hotels are difficult because the food there comes in one size: beaucoup.  We have muffins the size of ottomans.  We don’t have cookies; we have manhole covers with chocolate chips the size of lug nuts.  I would have stuck to fruit, but it was in parfait form.  We had ten different kinds of soda, but no Diet Pepsi.  The closest thing was Sprite Zero: it lacks color, calories and caffeine… what is the point?

After being trapped in the hotel all day, I looked forward to heading back to my motel in Pewaukee.  There’s a Subway down the street.  I’ve eaten there before.  However, Mother Nature conspired against me and my diet.  The flooding had closed the street only a block or two from the exit on I-94, limiting my choice of food options to Culver’s, Denny’s and Rocky Rococo.  I did find a Chinese restaurant still open despite the rising water downtown.  I like potstickers and – generally – the steamed ones aren’t too bad.  Six of them at home are about seven points total.  At this restaurant they offered eight instead of six.  I assumed that meant they would probably be a bit smaller than normal since they really didn’t cost any more than the potstickers at home.  Instead I got a pot full of potstickers, each one roughly the size and shape of a calf heart.  My room had a refrigerator and microwave, so I ate three and packed up the rest for the next day. 

Mercifully, the training ended before the Fox River completely inundated the westbound expressways out of the Milwaukee area.  I managed to escape back across the border to my home, only two and a half pounds heavier for the week.

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