Absentee Housekeeping


When I’m on the road in a motel, I don’t like strangers coming into my room.  I figure I’ve paid for the room; it’s mine for the duration.  The first thing I do when I arrive is place the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door.  While that kept housekeeping out of my room in Indiana, they were apparently concerned for my well-being (either that or they thought I was a slob).  Every morning, I would wake up to find a laundry bag full of replacement items sitting in the hallway by my door.  Don’t get me wrong; you don’t see that kind of service too often anymore.  I don’t want to dissuade housekeeping from going that extra mile.  However, after a few days, things started getting a little out of hand.

I don’t drink coffee.  Even if I did, it was available in the lobby 24 hours a day.  However, I had new fresh coffee packets every morning, complete with stirrers and napkins bundled in plastic.  My cup literally runneth over with… more cups.  The coffeemaker tray couldn’t hold them all.  I filled the ice bucket with sugar packets and ersatz creamer.

200808262220261Most motel chains these days suggest you “save the planet” and reuse your towels.  I do my part and over five days, I used a couple of towels and a single washcloth.  However, the maid service was apparently convinced I was an environmental rapist.  I had fresh sets of towels every morning, sometimes even two sets.  I piled them on the shelf in the bathroom over the toilet until they were stacked to the ceiling and threatened to rain down on me when I flushed.  Wrapped in amongst the towels, I had half a dozen bars of soap and enough tiny bottles of shampoo to make a real bottle of shampoo.

For some reason – for every bottle of hair product, I got two small bottles of moisturizer.  At first I had them arranged like army men on the edge of the bathtub.  By the end of my visit, they had me surrounded in the shower.  That was the last straw.  I left my room that final morning very clean, very conditioned and incredibly moist.

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