When I’m on the road in a motel, I don’t like strangers coming into my room. I figure I’ve paid for the room; it’s mine for the duration. The first thing I do when I arrive is place the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door. While that kept housekeeping out of my room in Indiana, they were apparently concerned for my well-being (either that or they thought I was a slob). Every morning, I would wake up to find a laundry bag full of replacement items sitting in the hallway by my door. Don’t get me wrong; you don’t see that kind of service too often anymore. I don’t want to dissuade housekeeping from going that extra mile. However, after a few days, things started getting a little out of hand.
I don’t drink coffee. Even if I did, it was available in the lobby 24 hours a day. However, I had new fresh coffee packets every morning, complete with stirrers and napkins bundled in plastic. My cup literally runneth over with… more cups. The coffeemaker tray couldn’t hold them all. I filled the ice bucket with sugar packets and ersatz creamer.
Most motel chains these days suggest you “save the planet” and reuse your towels. I do my part and over five days, I used a couple of towels and a single washcloth. However, the maid service was apparently convinced I was an environmental rapist. I had fresh sets of towels every morning, sometimes even two sets. I piled them on the shelf in the bathroom over the toilet until they were stacked to the ceiling and threatened to rain down on me when I flushed. Wrapped in amongst the towels, I had half a dozen bars of soap and enough tiny bottles of shampoo to make a real bottle of shampoo.
For some reason – for every bottle of hair product, I got two small bottles of moisturizer. At first I had them arranged like army men on the edge of the bathtub. By the end of my visit, they had me surrounded in the shower. That was the last straw. I left my room that final morning very clean, very conditioned and incredibly moist.