Not Ready to Assemble


I have to admit I like to work.  Whether it’s personal or my job, I like to be doing things.  I like that feeling of movement.  I like to feel I’ve accomplished something.  At the end of the day, I like to be able to sit back, relax, point at something with pride and say, “You know, I did that.”

I got a new filing cabinet awhile back for my home office.  Like most office furniture these days, it came in a flat box, ready to assemble.  I’m not bothered by put-together furniture.  At one time or another, I believe I have assembled half the items in the house.  The trick – honestly – is to read the directions.  Things just go smoother that way.

In this case, I believe the instructions were still in their original Sanskrit.  I was undaunted.  I work with software for a living and I’ve assembled computers over the years with cheap parts.  Mistranslations don’t shake me and at least these instructions came with pictures.  I was able to get the gist.

Apparently the quality control people were on vacation the day my filing cabinet shipped out.   Most of the screw holes didn’t line up.  Many of them weren’t even drilled out.  Some of the pieces weren’t even the correct lengths!  I’m not the handiest of men, but I hung the garage door opener and several ceiling fans.  I went out to get my tools.  I drilled and sawed and finally assembled.  It took most of the day.  By dinnertime I was able to sit back and stretch the kinks out of my back, look at a filing cabinet that pretty much looked like the picture on the box and say, “I did that… no thanks to the — company.”

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