Ladybug Porn


Daniel’s school had an open house a couple of weeks ago.  It wasn’t a full scale open house, but rather a “read-in” at the library.  When I was in elementary school, the place where they kept all the books was called a “learning center”.  I’m glad to see libraries making a comeback.  We took a little tour and read a few books.  If Daniel read for fifteen minutes, he got to enter a raffle.  I’m proud to say we read at least twice that and – as it was – he almost forgot to put his name in the box.  We had to remind him before we left.

In between reading about Lamborghinis and Pompeii, we met the librarian.  She knew Daniel by name.  He had been working on a project in the library: looking up information on ladybugs, making copies of photographs and designing a nice poster with everything he’d learned.  We saw the “rough draft” while we were there and Daniel picked up his folder that contained some additional pictures he hadn’t used for the poster, but wanted to take home and hang up on his bulletin board.  We were on the way to McDonald’s for dinner when Meka let out a laugh.  She had been idly paging through Daniel’s leftover ladybug pictures.

“Take a look at this!” she said.  I glanced over to see a pair of ladybugs, in full color, blown up to about a hundred times their actual size.  One was mounting the other.  I would have described it as doggy-style… had they been dogs.  Daniel peeked his head between the front seats to see what we were giggling about.

“The librarian said I shouldn’t use that picture on my poster,” he said matter-of-factly.

I gathered myself together.  “Did she tell you why not?”  Meka snorted and I admit I had to wipe tears from my eyes at the thought of how this must have gone down at the Meehan Elementary School library.  Daniel shook his head.  I asked, “What exactly were you planning on writing about this picture?”

“Ladybugs will do anything in the wild,” he replied.  “They both wanted the same thing and crawled all over each other to get it.”  He frowned at his parents, both of whom were laughing like loons in the front seat.  “This is serious!” he shouted.  “They’re not giving each other horseback rides, you know!”  We knew.  It took us a few minutes to get our minds out of the gutter and explain to Daniel about the birds and the bees… and the ladybugs.

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