The World’s Worst Japanese Movie turned out to be a “hit”. We showed it to Dave’s family the next day and they all thought it was funny. So, Dave and I started shooting a sequel called Attack of the Monster. The plot is as follows:
A fisherman sees a monster come from the radioactive waters near Schaumburg. It smooshes buildings and terrorizes the populace. Spectreman is called in and the two mighty creatures battle for supremacy.
I had gone home to get my “good” VCR, so we could shoot more than three feet away from Dave’s television set. We planned out the script. We had a miniature boat with a Han Solo action figure that would serve as the terrorized fisherman. We made miniature buildings and houses. Dave’s brother Todd dressed up in a green mask with a fur coat and scuba fins. Everything should have been better than our first movie… which is why it was so surprising that nothing worked right.
Dave’s brother played the live action fisherman in an inflatable raft. When the monster approached, he would be replaced by Han Solo in the little boat. The boat didn’t look anything like the raft and Todd – sadly – looked nothing like Han Solo. It was supposed to be funny, but it ended up being confusing. We started making the water bubble and Han Solo sunk beneath the waves of the retention pond.
Undaunted, we continued shooting. We had a crowd run past Dave’s house. We had made a model version of his house from notebook paper (his house was white; it seemed to make sense). Again, while the shot was – technically – better done, it wasn’t funny. No big deal; we kept shooting.
Dave put on his Spectreman bag and Todd was dressed as the Transvestite Scuba Diving Monster from Hell. We staged a big fight in their backyard. Both of them were familiar with the goofy stylized fighting from Spectreman, so – again – it should have been funny. It was, but for the wrong reasons. The wind had picked up and kept blowing Dave’s bag off his head. And when it was on, we ran into a problem that would plague us throughout the course of Spectreman. With the bag on his head, Dave couldn’t see a thing. He staggered around the yard, holding his head with one hand and gamely trying to find the monster with his other hand.
The shoot petered out. We were still tired from the night before. The scenes were all out of order and would need to be edited (not an easy task back then). In the end, in our quest to make it “better”, we had forgotten to make it fun. Attack of the Monster was never finished. We ended up sitting on Dave’s couch in the family room, watching fishing on television.