Dinosaur Joker


We were all sitting in Daniel’s room: me, Daniel and Tyrannosaurus Rex.  It was a cold gray afternoon and we were listening to old Bob Newhart routines on Daniel’s record player.

“I think I’m pretty funny,” said T-Rex suddenly.

“Funny looking,” said Daniel with a laugh.

T-Rex smiled, showing rows of long white teeth.  “I mean I have a good sense of humor.  Tyrannosaurus Rexes were known for their sense of humor.”

“Really?”  I said, “I didn’t know that.”

“We’re natural joke tellers,” said T-Rex.

“Tell us a joke then,” I said.  “Please.”

T-Rex cleared his throat, a low sound that rattled the window.  “What do you call a pig that does karate?”

Daniel and I looked at each other.  Daniel shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he said.  “What do you call a pig that does karate?”

“Delicious!” said T-Rex, laughing.  Daniel chuckled a bit and I smiled politely.

T-Rex calmed down and took a breath.  “Okay, okay, how about this one?  What do you call an Eskimo who has been sitting on the ice for six hours?”

“I don’t know,” I said.

“Delicious!”  T-Rex roared.  Daniel frowned; and it wasn’t from the warm blast of meat breath that ruffled through his hair.

“Here’s a good one,” said T-Rex.  “What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?”

Quatro cinco?” suggested Daniel.

“No,” said T-Rex.  “Delicious!”

I blinked a couple of times.  Daniel looked up at the ceiling.  T-Rex stopped laughing and looked at us.

“Don’t you get it?” he asked.  “They’re delicious!”

“No,” I said, “no, we get it.”

“Don’t you know any other jokes?” asked Daniel.

“I know a million of them!” said T-Rex.  “What do you call one hundred lawyers in a volcano?”

“Delicious?”

T-Rex looked surprised.  “You’ve heard that one before?”

“Do all your jokes end with the same punch line?” asked Daniel.

T-Rex thought for a moment.  “Well, our brains are the size of walnuts,” he said finally.  “It’s hard to remember more than one punch line.”

“Are you sure Tyrannosaurs are natural storytellers?” I asked.  “I mean, could it be – possibly – brontosauruses are natural storytellers?”

“There’s no such thing as a brontosaurus,” said T-Rex stiffly.  “They’re actually brachiosaurs.”

“My mistake.”

T-Rex shook his head.  “No.  Do you know what you call a brachiosaurus that can tell a joke?”

Daniel sighed.  “Delicious?”

“Exactly!” laughed T-Rex.  “Isn’t that a knee-slapper?”  He looked down.  “Well, it would be a knee-slapper, but… you know…”

Short limbs,” Daniel and I said together.  “We know.”

T-Rex chuckled.  “Delicious,” he said to himself.

“So, do you know any jokes that are funny?”

T-Rex frowned.

“You don’t think my jokes are funny?” he asked.

“They’re a bit predictable,” said Daniel.

“So, you don’t think they’re funny?”

“Sorry.  No.”

“That’s unfortunate,” said T-Rex, licking his chops.  “Do you know what I call someone who doesn’t like my jokes?”

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