Why I Missed Last Monday’s Class (1991)

I’d like to take this time out to offer thanks
To the gods for letting it rain just long enough to kill me.

It was so bright I had to wear my shades
As I started my ride in broad daylight
Then the sky turned dark, to black then green
And Heavens, they pissed down all over me.

My course was true, but my bike went curved
And suddenly my haulin’ ass was hanging in the air
(And we all know air isn’t support enough
For Christ’s sake, you can’t even see the stuff!)

I must admit though I thought it was fun
At first – a little like rollercoasting
The endless first second with its sense of stomach
While watching and waiting for the ground to come up.

It was a little like skidding, a little like sliding
Hippiting, hoppiting, with a feeling of flying.
I laughed, “My God!” I thought, “My God!”
This must be what it’s like to experience – breakdancing!

The thrill was a high of religious proportions
Frightening, enlightening, with dizzy delights
I spun and I rolled and I enjoyed myself.
All the way up to that


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